This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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