So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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