If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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