On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
