remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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