It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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