That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
