I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
