apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
