i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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