Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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