If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
