someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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