guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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