I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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