I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
