I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
His hands were made for my vagina.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize