alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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