I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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