whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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