Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We are all done wearing pants today
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
