It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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