I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
