I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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