I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
