I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
