the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
