I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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