she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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