Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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