Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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