I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We are two peas in an std pod
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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