so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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