so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize