apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
