Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
