Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
