don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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