Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
