Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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