Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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