Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
