Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Non-Jews are for practice
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
