Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize