We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
