Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
