All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
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If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
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you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian