her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
