I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now