Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
