tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize