Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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