My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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