That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
