i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
