How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
