Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
