Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
