i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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