"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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