is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sober January is a disaster.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
