Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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