I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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