Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
