I just saw a hot homeless man
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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