I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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