Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything