Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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