Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?